So… What are you trying to say? + Jealousy

I was hanging out with a friend of mine, whom is also an English Teacher.

I was telling her about the Korean guys — friends, friends of friends or just happened to meet in passing — I have met here and how nice they have been to me.

Her: *sigh* Why do YOU meet all the good guys?”

Me: … (guessing I had that wtf you trying to say look)

Her: I mean, you are nice, sweet, really cute and have a wonderful personality. (She says this ass she is lightly punching my shoulder (very lightly) Stopped because I think the look in my eyes changed while my facial expression stayed the same) I just wish I could meet the nice guys instead of the ones I have been meeting. I wish I could get a nice Korean boyfriend.  I am starting to dislike Korean men. I know they aren’t all the same.

Me: … I’m not looking for a boyfriend.  Korean or otherwise. I meet these guys just going out and doing whatever. I am not actively looking like some of these other people here.

Her: Well, i want to get married and have kids and…

Me:  Me too, but I have other stuff to deal with and having fun. It will happen when it happens.

Her: I know.  Do you think you will be going home soon?

Me: No, I prefer living overseas.  I always have. I will go home to visit ever so often. It depends on what is happening and where I am supposed to be.

(The PTB know my criteria and know I do not deal well or put up with bull shit. The few ones that I have dated for a very short time are examples shown to me of what I DON’T want.)


I went out with another friend of mine in Deagu and I remembered the other conversation. 

Me: Hey, what kind of vibe do I give off?

Her2: Why?

I told her about what the other friend said.

Her2: You give of a strong, quiet confidence, but your face looks really innocent.

We got on other topics on how other foreigners say that black women won’t get any play here.

Her2: Bull. Korean men like the chocolate too.

Me: BTW, he and his staff recognize me by site to the point I get questioned when I leave early.

Her2: Told ya, he likes the chocolate too.

Me: What about all these people who keep saying they don’t.

Her2: They are in denial or just jealous that they are not getting any play. It could be because of the way they present themselves.


By the way the first friend, when I say friend it does not come out the same way as I would call someone who I think is truly my friend.

Her “friend” comes out more as an associate instead of someone I would gladly give pretty much my whole paycheck to make sure they get home okay (after I paid a major bill at home). I noticed it even more after that conversation about me meeting nice guys.

I think that my students notice it at times, if I have introduced them to more than one friend. Actually, even if I haven’t.  I think this, because they will repeat the word and  look me straight in the eye or glance at my facial expression, think about it and just shrug it off, smile and be polite to them. They know I am reluctant to say something mean about someone in front of them if at all.  I try to be nice, but my facial expression gives away what I am thinking usually. I can think of one time, I think one of my students happened to see me with someone I really did not like and asked if that was my friend in Korean.

Student: Teacher friend?

Me: mmmmm… (Tried to hide frown but from their vantage point they saw it anyway)

Student: (ah) Hello. (slight smile, not full blown when they see me or when they meet someone who is my friend)

They never mention it again to me when the see me in class.

They know I won’t lie to them, I may forget things but I would not intentionally lie to them.

I love my students.  I am still gong to have to move though. With these allergies my body is not going to have it and those pills are only going to work for so long until my body gets used to them,.


3 comments on “So… What are you trying to say? + Jealousy

  1. You say you’ve always preferred living abroad. Have you lived in other countries? Sorry for being nosy but I’d love to learn more about your background. I assume you are talking about His Unbearable Sexiness in the Daegu conversation. In the first convo, there was something similar on Ank’s blog, how a white girl went on a trip to Europe and was shocked that her black female “friends” were getting more attention than her.
    I’m sure the men there can tell who is open and friendly and who is full of stereotypes and entitlement.

    • Yep. Lived in Germany for 3 years and went back many summers and lived in Italy for 4 years while in the military. I have been to other countries to for visits and shopping. Wait… how’d you know she was white without me saying anything?

      • How did I know? Maybe her entitlement. She really seems surprised that these Korean men are not just falling at her feet. I’ve really gotten a late start with traveling don’t know if I’ll ever live abroad but I’m hoping to go somewhere next year. I’ve already applied for a work related 2 weeks in Guatemala.


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